Thursday, February 24, 2011

Is this how it's supposed to work?

Life has been so overwhelming recently. I guess having a full-time job (with a commute), a toddler (almost 2 years old!), and being 6+ months pregnant will do that to you.

But still, part of me wonders if the problem is me - why am I not satisfied with the way my life works right now? I have a good job (minus some boss issues) that pays really well, I have a dedicated caregiver for my kid, and I have excellent support from my family and friends.

It's still not enough. I'll admit to being a perfectionist, a tad neurotic, and a control freak. Those are excellent qualities when it comes to the work I do. Not so much when I have to depend on other people for so many things in my life. I'll admit to being overly critical when people don't do things the way I want them to (which is, of course, the only way things should be done). I know the answer to that is, if I don't like the way things are done, I need to do them myself.

That is SO easier said than done.

At least now I have a plan. It's been hatching in my brain for about two years now. I'm done with the full-time work force and have no plans to come back anytime in the near future. I'm going into business for myself - a scary prospect - but one that will give me the ultimate control over my life's direction. I just need to hang in there a bit longer. This baby is due in just 67 short days. I think I can make my current situation work until then. I don't really have a choice.


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