Make It Work, baby!

I've forgotten how cathartic writing can be. I do have a degree in English, after all, so you'd think that's something I would remember. Silly me. Nothing stays for long in my colander of a brain these days. It's been just about 18 months since I wrote a post, even longer than that since I've practiced regular upkeep. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things, again, because it's helpful to me, and I feel like I have a lot to share. How to sum up 18 months, though, in one post? And really, two full years, since that last post was really just an internal cry for help and a little shy on details? Here goes nothing: In 2011, I gave birth to my little girl in a glorious HBAC. I have the birth story posted elsewhere, so eventually I'll transfer it over here. It was a really difficult year in a lot of ways. Going from working FT with one child, to working as a freelancer with two kids and no childcare was a disaster in many ways. I went through mul...

I've always been a busy person. It's part of my personality - as an ESTJ I am a "joiner" and thrive on interacting with and belonging to different groups (more about personality types on another day!). So, of course, that translates into being just a bit busy. When I was in high school, I was in numerous clubs. National Honor Society, National Art Honor Society, Spanish Club, Key Club, Forensics, and the high school swim team plus a year-round swim team. And it wasn't enough to just show up for the attendance check - I was an officer in several and on volunteer committees for others. In my last two years I also held down several jobs and had a serious boyfriend (my nowadays-husband). I rarely partied and was a classic example of How To Keep Your Kids Out Of Trouble. If they're so busy they can barely sleep or get homework done, they're probably not out boozing and having sex. At least, I wasn't. In college it was much of the same. Any one of my ex...

"Fluff" can take on a lot of meanings. Aside from the dictionary definition, it can mean your cloth diaper stash, your baby carrier/sling stash, or having a little extra padding around the middle. Today, it means "something of little substance or consequence." I can't remember if I've mentioned this, but I adore reading. I feel very lucky to have been brought up in a family where we were more likely to sit around in the evenings with books, rather than around a television. As sedentary activities go, it's probably one of the more mentally stimulating. And the great thing about a good book is that it can take you away from life. Not that my life is a terrible thing that I need to escape from, but let's admit it - everyday life is mundane. Waking, sleeping, eating, commuting, working - all rote. Sure, there's joy to be found in small things, accomplishment in work well done. But it's a constant ho-hum. Motherhood is certainly one of life...

My baby is 11 months old today. It's hard to believe that much time has gone by already. He's still not crawling or walking. He's not clapping, saying words, or waving. Sometimes I'm afraid that I've already failed him as a parent. But no. My baby is happy and healthy. He laughs and smiles. Gets frustrated and intrigued. Communicates through facial expression, tone, and posture. Eats like a horse and nurses like a champ. He may be a bit behind all of the milestones, but for now I'm still OK with that. I'm not crying tonight because of my perceived inadequacies as a parent. Instead, I'm remembering where I was 11 months ago. How I felt. There was some joy. There was a lot of love. But it was mostly horror. Pain. Sorrow. Frustration. Helplessness. Failure. "From his mother's womb untimely ripped."  I had a cesarean section. It is really, really hard for me to write about this. Especially in a format that lays bare so many other pe...

I finally did it. After over a year of agonizing over the decision to look for work elsewhere, and just two months after actually starting to search, I landed myself a new job! My husband keeps asking me if I'm scared. How do I put this? I'm not nervous at all. I feel confident in my ability to do a good job, and to provide this company with exactly what it needs. I'm super excited about all of the possibilities that this position will open up to me. The only thing that really had me quaking in my boots (so-to-speak, since I actually rarely wear boots), was telling my boss. Working in the same place for almost five years is a pretty Big Deal, especially when the company never fires anyone and the only way to stop working there is to retire or die. The jury's still out on the Office Manager, whose tenure there predates my birth by two years. Why are these people so loyal? Why did they expect me to be? Honestly - they are afraid of change and don't know anythi...

I've finally decided to (re)join the blogosphere. I started out with blogger back in the day, taking my diary online with plenty of teenage musings and angst. I posted about my daily trials and travails (homework and boyfriends and college Oh My!) for years, fading out slowly as I completed college, joined the "real world," and got married. I've been toying with the idea of writing again for many moons, but a quick glance over my old blogs made me realize it was time to strike out for new land. This blog will focus on my new life as a mother, wife, and worker bee in our nation's capital. I'm always striving to find and maintain a balance between life's Wants and Needs, which change drastically once you add children into the mix. It's a perilous path that parents tread, and this is where I'll be hashing out which steps to take and which ones to skip. "Make it work" is a ubiquitous phrase in our culture, especially for fans of Tim Gu...