Make It Work, baby!

  It's one of those things that sits at the back of your mind. The ever-neglected blog, languishing in internet anonymity as its brethren sigh into the void and tumble off the screen, one by one. When I visited this blog today, it wasn't with the intention to create a new post. I've been back periodically in the last five years to pull that old recipe (yes I still use some) or to just take a spin down memory lane. My intention today was similar - looking for a recipe (which, it turns out, I never even blogged about). But then I read the last post. And revisited a few others. And updated the list of "blogs I like," finding that more than half of them no longer exist. I'm still the same person I was when the cursor last blinked at this URL five years ago. But my life has become so much more expansive. There are so many things that could be said about that last post, which will now become the penultimate once this gets published, and then perhaps relegated even f...

How do you revamp a blog that's been let down so many times? It's been two years since I last posted here. I've moved to the suburbs , watched my kids grow, and now I have a kindergartner and a 4-year-old. So much is different, and yet, laughably, so much is the same . I'm back to where I was before, though in reality I never actually left. Overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, overworked, under-appreciated. From the outside, things really seem to be looking up. They're not. My own facade is cracking, my motivation waning, and my desire to ESCAPE is escalating. I know that's not good. I probably just need a good vacation. And a housekeeper. A chef/nutritionist. Personal trainer. A nanny would be awesome too. And a secretary. But honestly, I'll settle for a vacation sometime this summer. There's a decent chance I won't get one, however. For starters, we gave in and became a two-car family in December. The Versa had one payment left, and we were strugglin...

Another day, another hybrid slow cooker recipe. It's the weekend, and I have big plans to get a lot of work done today. My goal is to get enough done that I have time to read a book and enjoy a glass of wine before bed tonight. Sounds like heaven to me! To help facilitate that, I threw together one of the easiest recipes I know. Just a few ingredients, most that you probably have in your house, and you'll have a tasty dinner waiting for you. Like most of my recipes, this one is a hybrid of two different ones that I found on Pinterest . Unfortunately, the original blog that posted one of those doesn't seem to exist anymore. So I've linked the pin for the source instead, which has all of the instructions posted on it. My husband is not a fan of cooked carrots, but he really enjoyed eating this. I hope you do, too! Sources: Italian Chicken by Crock-a-doodle-do Crockpot Lemon Chicken from Pinterest Crock Pot Italian Butter Chicken 1 lb Organic boneless, skinless chic...

Gravity by Dannika Dark My rating: 5 of 5 stars I was introduced to Dannika Dark's Mageri series only a short time ago, but since then I've devoured each book multiple times and was chomping at the bit for the chance to read Gravity. Fans of the series are going to adore it. There are some serious highs and some devastating lows, but the conclusion left me yearning for more. The book begins with Silver as she gets settled into her life with Justus and contends with Logan's courtship. It was frustrating for me to see her still fighting the inevitability of it. As has happened in previous novels, the action takes off quickly and makes it hard to put the book down. Throughout the narration bounced around to the POVs of several different characters, which I found a bit frustrating since all I really wanted to know was what would happen next with Silver. On my first reading, I sailed through in just over 3 hours and skimmed several sections with characters I wasn'...

I never knew how much I would love cooking until I got the opportunity to practice it. Being able to cook almost every night of the week for almost two years now, I think I can say I've gotten pretty good at it. One thing I'm terrible at is following recipes. Oh, I follow the spirit, so to speak. But I'm a big fan of guesstimating measurements and making off-the-cuff substitutions when I find my pantry is not up to snuff. With that in mind, I've decided to start posting my recipe combinations here on my (much-neglected) blog, in hopes that the next time I look for a particular recipe, I'll remember that I rejiggered it and will know where to look. Most of my recipes are pulled from Pinterest (and I'm currently sitting at 1000+ on my personal pinboard), though before that I was a big fan of Allrecipes.com . Tonight's dinner creation (which smells heavenly by the way!) is a mish-mash of a few different recipes, all sourced below. We don't use cans in th...

I've forgotten how cathartic writing can be. I do have a degree in English, after all, so you'd think that's something I would remember. Silly me. Nothing stays for long in my colander of a brain these days. It's been just about 18 months since I wrote a post, even longer than that since I've practiced regular upkeep. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things, again, because it's helpful to me, and I feel like I have a lot to share. How to sum up 18 months, though, in one post? And really, two full years, since that last post was really just an internal cry for help and a little shy on details? Here goes nothing: In 2011, I gave birth to my little girl in a glorious HBAC. I have the birth story posted elsewhere, so eventually I'll transfer it over here. It was a really difficult year in a lot of ways. Going from working FT with one child, to working as a freelancer with two kids and no childcare was a disaster in many ways. I went through mul...

There's been a lot going on. I left my job in April. I had a baby - at home in the water - in May. I started working for myself in June. Now it's November. My baby is 6, almost 7 months old. I'm not sure where the time went. Every day I hold her, kiss her, smile and play with her, and try to burn the image of her into my retinas. I don't want to forget this. I can't wait to do it again. Babies are more precious than anything else. They are life, love, and laughter. But that's not why I decided to post today, after an 8-month hiatus.

Yes, I spelled that right. I don't have demons to exorcise, I have exercise demons. I'm terrible at getting myself up and going, and I've always been that way. That's why, after gaining the freshman *cough* my first year in college, I walked-on to the swim team. Nine practices a week got my tushie in shape and ensured I'd be staying healthy(ish - my diet wasn't great) and fitting into my clothes. After college, I had my wedding to get ready for almost immediately. After that was when my waistline, thighs, and pretty much everywhere else started to bulge. Before getting pregnant with Adrian, I actually managed to lose 20lbs through a combination of being more active (taking the stairs, free weights) and a better diet. I have Eating for Life to thank for much of that - it's a great book to change your philosophy on food, and contains a meal planner and some healthy recipes.

Life has been so overwhelming recently. I guess having a full-time job (with a commute), a toddler (almost 2 years old!), and being 6+ months pregnant will do that to you. But still, part of me wonders if the problem is me - why am I not satisfied with the way my life works right now? I have a good job (minus some boss issues) that pays really well, I have a dedicated caregiver for my kid, and I have excellent support from my family and friends.

The website Best for Babies has put out a call for stories from moms about the booby traps they faced when attempting to breastfeed. I think I've experienced every booby trap in the book - with my first baby. Now that the second is due in a few months I'm armed and ready for battle again. I hope it won't come to that. My story of booby traps started with birth preparation - I went to a collaborative OB/Midwife practice that prided it self on a low(er) c-section and epidural rate. I was never, not once, asked about my plans to breastfeed. The only class I took was a hospital-based birth prep class. I don't even think breastfeeding came up, and if it did all I really remember is my shock at hearing 94% of the women giving birth in that hospital had epidurals.

I am so done. I've never felt this physically and emotionally sapped in my life. Actually, I probably have, but I'm a champ at repressing and forgetting bad memories and this will certainly be one of them. The culprit? Work. What else. I just can't do this anymore. I give and give and give and get nothing in return. I guess a paycheck counts. But that's not enough. It's never been enough. So unfortunate that I need that paycheck. Because I might be tempted to just walk out the door, go home, and not come back.

A good friend of mine currently lives in a busy metropolitan city, but dreams of having a big house in the suburbs. One of these days, she and I will sit down to discuss her desire to live there. But it's made me think of my own strong aversion to suburbia. First off, I've never lived in a suburb, at least that I remember. I grew up in a very rural setting, with trees and cow pastures, country roads and dirt or gravel driveways. My house was on a street - no neighborhood, no subdivision, no HOA, just a street. It was off the beaten path and away from traffic, but also from people. Sure, we had neighbors, but I had no friends whose houses I could walk to, even if I'd been allowed to walk on the street (I wasn't).

After my last post about work-life balance, I took a long break from blogging (and from reading blogs - my Google reader was up to ~800 posts. yikes!). Recently I bought a book about getting work and life to be in better harmony (review on that to come another day). So, did the time and perspective help any? Unfortunately, nope. I actually ended up doing that oh-so-embarrassing thing called practically killing myself (OK, maybe that's melodramatic, but I WAS told to go to the ER). Instead of life getting simpler, it got busier. And then I got pregnant . And anyone who's been there know how entirely awful first trimester can be. I won't list all of my woes, but suffice to say my body gave up on me.

I've always been a busy person. It's part of my personality - as an ESTJ I am a "joiner" and thrive on interacting with and belonging to different groups (more about personality types on another day!). So, of course, that translates into being just a bit busy. When I was in high school, I was in numerous clubs. National Honor Society, National Art Honor Society, Spanish Club, Key Club, Forensics, and the high school swim team plus a year-round swim team. And it wasn't enough to just show up for the attendance check - I was an officer in several and on volunteer committees for others. In my last two years I also held down several jobs and had a serious boyfriend (my nowadays-husband). I rarely partied and was a classic example of How To Keep Your Kids Out Of Trouble. If they're so busy they can barely sleep or get homework done, they're probably not out boozing and having sex. At least, I wasn't. In college it was much of the same. Any one of my ex...

They keep me organized . Who doesn't love organization? Except when you have lists of lists. Watch out for that. Crossing items off gives me a sense of accomplishment . Which is why it's terrible that my to-do list for work today has nothing crossed off, and I've been here for 6.5 hours already. They're useful in all situations - for work projects, grocery shopping, Christmas, errands, weekend activities, books to read, and blogging. Everyone else knows I've got my shit together . Boss - "What are you working on today?" Me - "I've got a list!" Husband - "What's for dinner?" Me - "I've got a list!" Friend - "Are we going out this weekend?" Me - "I've got a list!" Once a list has been created, I can turn my brain off. This is especially useful on Friday afternoons at work. I don't need to think about what I need to do, I just need to look at the list. You can dress them up . My curr...

"Fluff" can take on a lot of meanings. Aside from the dictionary definition, it can mean your cloth diaper stash, your baby carrier/sling stash, or having a little extra padding around the middle. Today, it means "something of little substance or consequence." I can't remember if I've mentioned this, but I adore reading. I feel very lucky to have been brought up in a family where we were more likely to sit around in the evenings with books, rather than around a television. As sedentary activities go, it's probably one of the more mentally stimulating. And the great thing about a good book is that it can take you away from life. Not that my life is a terrible thing that I need to escape from, but let's admit it - everyday life is mundane. Waking, sleeping, eating, commuting, working - all rote. Sure, there's joy to be found in small things, accomplishment in work well done. But it's a constant ho-hum. Motherhood is certainly one of life...

Yesterday, a friend sent me a really interesting article on the proposed extension of paid paternal leave in Sweden . Anyone familiar with US law will note a few interesting tidbits in that sentence: Paternal leave - yep, something nonexistent in the US Paid - the mother of all qualifiers.  Extension - which means that not only did they already have it, they're making it better. Excuse me while the waves of jealousy rage over me... Ok. Now I'm better. Where do I start? I was shocked, aghast, and amazed (and not in a good way) when, upon getting pregnant, I learned the US doesn't mandate paid maternity leave. I'd read my employer's personnel manual, and honestly when I read the words "up to 12 weeks of family leave" never did it cross my mind that this "family leave" was unpaid. Sure, some private employers offer paid leave (less than 3 percent), and two states have stepped in to do the same (California and New Jersey), but the federal gov...

This is my second mothers' day. Adrian is in good sorts today, despite the several molars that are just now poking through, and the fact that we're visiting with my parents this weekend rather than in the comfort of our own home. Happy Mothers' Day to all of the moms out there - it's a hard job, but someone's gotta do it! And it's worth everything. It's wonderful to see all of the facebook postings with good wishes for today, and this is probably the one day when the whole mom community comes out to support each other, rather than bickering over parenting choice. What brings us all together today is the fact that we are ALL parents, and regardless of our choices, we do the best we can.

Last week was trying. Mostly in good ways, but I've decided it's probably not healthy - mentally or physically - to be that busy. Which is ironic, considering that's how I spent my high school and college years. I'm not sure how, but I made it through last week. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster, to say the least. DS is teething something major. I think his molars are coming in, though he won't let me look and bites me if I try to get a feel. That led to a rather sleepless night last Sunday (before my trip), which led to both of us passing out around 7pm on Monday night. So I got nothing done that evening. Tuesday and Wednesday night were meetings, and I got home at 10:30 and 11:00 pm, respectively. Thursday night was departure night! My flight didn't leave until Friday morning, but I wasn't driving and the ladies who were lived 20 mins away, and closer to the airport. It would be a bit much to expect to be picked up at 4:30 am just so I cold h...

This has been a stressful week. The new job is going well, but I have two meetings (one yesterday and one tomorrow) at which I must represent my new company, take notes, and write something intelligent for distribution. That would be much, much easier if I had any clue what was going on. A lot of the information is highly technical, and my English degree didn't include a concentration in trade policy. My new boss understands, though, and just wants to expose me a bit more to the industry. I wonder if they'll be serving wine at the lunch meeting tomorrow? I could certainly use some fortification. In addition to work stress, one of my part-time web business clients has given me a slew of information to post and set up this week. And that would normally be ok, except the 3rd week of the month is my "meetings week." LLL and ICAN meetings Tuesday and Wednesday night. Even with the stress I'm not willing to miss those - they keep me grounded. And to top it off, this...